Getting divorced is one of the most stressful experiences one can have in life. As such, it may seem impossible to have a healthy and amicable divorce. However, there are many steps that you can take to minimize the long-term negative effects of this experience for everyone involved.
Here are some important tips to help you navigate your divorce in a healthy way.
Finalize Beyond Divorce Papers
Think of your divorce as the reverse process of marriage. When you get married, there’s plenty of administrative tasks to be completed after the papers are signed. The same thing happens when you get divorced.
Take time to go through the various facets of your life and ensure that your assets are completely separated. One commonly overlooked area is shared vehicles. While you might decide that one couple keeps the vehicle, you still have to get the paperwork altered with the DMV and any loan providers you may have. Otherwise, you could be held liable if your ex gets in an accident
Life insurance is another area that’s often forgotten in a divorce. Remember to change your beneficiary as soon as possible.
Take a Step Back in Communicating
Realistically, there are very few reasons to be communicating with your spouse during the divorce proceedings. Even simple communication can dissolve into fights when emotions are running high.
Take a step back when communicating with your spouse if things are getting tense. Put down the phone and refuse to engage in arguments or fighting over text. Rather than saying everything you want to say to your ex, write it down or tell a friend. If civil communication isn’t possible between the two of you, consider using a mediator during the divorce proceedings to help resolve issues and come to agreements.
Be Rational and Compromise
Dividing up your assets and belongings is often the most difficult part of the divorce process. It’s understandable, as it can be difficult to let go of things that were once important to you. It’s also common for each spouse to justify why they deserve certain things, whether it is because of an imbalance in income levels, or someone feeling wronged by the separation.
Know that you can’t have everything and that being rational and open to compromise will benefit you in the end. Let go of the things that don’t hold value to you or won’t serve you in your new life. Choose your battles for the things you really want. Taking a reasonable approach now will make you look more favorable if negotiations dissolve and you’re forced to go to court.
Watch Your Language
Be mindful of what you say to and about your spouse, especially when children are involved. Things that you say can be held against you in a legal situation. Be mindful of the journey ahead and save your venting for a safe environment with a trusted friend or family member.
It’s especially vital not to insult your spouse in front of your children. This practice ultimately does more harm to them than anyone else.
Prioritize Children’s Wellness
On the note of children, their well-being should always be the first priority in a divorce. Consider the impact of your actions and words each time you make a decision. Offer them support, and get professional counseling, if needed. Talk to your children’s teachers, coaches, and parents of their friends, so everyone knows what’s going on and your child is not left to explain what is happening in their lives.
Remember to communicate the changes with your children and involve them in decisions, when appropriate.