“There are only two kinds of people who can drain your energy: those you love, and those you fear. In both instances it is you who let them in. They did not force their way into your aura, or pry their way into your reality experience.”
― Anthon St. Maarten
There has always been such relationships in your life which could be summed up aptly with the word traumatic. More often than not the person is a loved one. This is what makes the relationship all the more devastating. While the amount of toxicity that a relationship has obviously vary from individual to individual, there’s absolutely no doubt that they do put a lot of stress on us. If anything, it is these relationships which teach us the most valuable lessons of life – to empathize, to heal, to take pity, to understand. Most of all these relationships teach us what a healthy relationship actually looks like.
How do you locate a toxic relationship?
The worst part about being in a toxic relationship is that you never really know when the relationship turns toxic. But suddenly one day it would dawn on you that things are not the same anymore. In fact, things have almost gone southwards and reached a point of no return. It is obviously difficult to deal with toxic relationships. The primary concern being whether you wish to be in the relationship at all anymore. In this regard it is that essential that you ascertain the fact whether the relationship is toxic at all. If it is, then here are a few pointers that you could follow to re-establish your relationship.
A Few Pointers to Heal a Toxic Relationship
When it comes to people and relationships, there’s rarely a one size fits all answer; there are all different kinds of toxic people, and depending on your relationship with them, the best strategies for working on it may vary. For example, if you have a toxic boss, you should approach that situation much differently than if you realize your best friend is a toxic influence in your life. While we can but merely suggest ways, it would be impossible to ascertain for sure as the advice would obviously differ or personality types and relationship dynamics.
- Formulating territorial rules – It is extremely difficult to lay down rules especially when you have been in the relationship for a long time. Creating rules might give the impression of ensuing trust issues and lead to violent arguments. However, if you could set rules like a fixed calling or texting time it is bound to work.
- Lay boundary walls – Sometimes boundaries are not only constructed to keep people out, but also to keep people in. The boundary I now speak of belongs to the latter kind. After you have set up these rules, it is up to you to ensure that they are followed. This would mean that you would need to put down your foot when the limits cross and be adamant about having your way. This must be done in a calm manner so as to convey to the other person that the rules are not prohibitive but merely coercive.
- Give yourself some lone time- Solitude works wonders. And when it comes to healing toxic relations lone time can be extremely effective. Lone time helps you regroup your thoughts, memories and priorities. It also helps you reflect on what may have gone wrong and mend it for the future days to come.