We see nothing wrong with sending our kids to learn under the tutelage of a soccer, karate, or band-camp coach, but forget that coaches are available for us when we’re “all grown up.” Following are ten pieces of million-dollar advice from some of the best life coaches around.
1. If You Don’t Make a Specific Goal, Don’t Complain When Your Dreams Remain Unrealized
So many people lament that they haven’t achieved their goals, but they never truly make them. That is, they may wish for some vague outcome, but they don’t get specific enough about what they want. The subconscious mind doesn’t understand inference or ambiguity – and since its running your life, you may want to get really specific — as in write it down!
2. Be Realistic
The subconscious mind also needs to believe that the affirmations you say or think are possible. If you are barely squeaking by in a minimum wage job, you’re out of shape, and your love life is a mess, your subconscious mind is likely to reject affirmations that state, “I am a millionaire,” or “I’m beautiful to everyone I meet.” It isn’t that these things are not possible for you – they are. However, to achieve success, you must start with smaller goals, and build up to the bigger ones. Unless of course, you can commit to radical life-changes that would help these big goals come to pass.
More often, though – you’ll notice that people make incremental steps toward fulfilling their dreams, because they need to build confidence in their own abilities to make them happen. The subconscious seeks proof of your affirmations before it integrates them into a new belief system. The subconscious mind also records your successes, and then rewards you with a belief in bigger dreams as you make progress toward your goals.
3. Be Curious Instead of Critical
Trying to understand why things are the way they are or curiously thinking of a solution is how hundreds of people became multi-millionaires. The post-it note might be one of the simplest inventions ever created – but we must admit, we all need a note that sticks to something, like all the time. The person who invented sticky notes was curious about human behavior and found a solution to a problem. If you are simply critical, you’ll never stumble on your own million-dollar idea.
This also applies to relationships, and your potential to learn more about yourself and your partner through a curious mind-set. By switching your outlook to one of introspection or wonder, you’ll be less likely to emotionally over-react to another person’s behavior. This empowers you to make informed choices when dealing with them, instead of just reacting.
Alexis Robin has more advice about changing your mind to change your life.
4. Get Emotional
The subconscious mind does not respond to rote. Although the “fake it until you make it” trick may help get you into an emotional state, you need to feel excited, motivated, and charged energetically to make affirmations work for you. Simply saying, “I’m peaceful and prosperous” a million times without any feeling won’t make it so.
5. Use the Comparative Voice
Another way to get your subconscious mind to buy into your desired new belief system is to use comparatives. Simply stating, “I am confident” may not help you to achieve that goal as fast as, “I am becoming more confident every day.” It is likely you can believe in that statement, too, which means it will manifest in your life more easily.
6. Stop Trying to Be Perfect at Everything
If you keep trying to be perfect at everything you’ll never get fantastic at the things that matter. We all come into this world with a different set of gifts. Not everything is going to light you up and make you want to jump out of bed in the morning – but that’s o.k.!
Instead of pushing a Sysiphian boulder up a hill when you do certain unsavory tasks, outsource them to people who do get excited about doing those things. There are folks who love to do taxes, organize closets, plan meals, clean your house, decorate, get you physically fit, and a whole list of additional tasks that keep you from focusing on being better at something that means something to your soul. Free up your energy for more important tasks by giving another person a chance to do what you’re not great at, but that they love.
7. Stop Ignoring What Your Body is Trying to Tell You
We have profound wisdom locked up within our own bodies – which respond to just about every stimulus imaginable in a completely honest way. If you detest doing a certain thing day-in-day out. Your body will tell you. It will tense up. It will cause you to breathe shallowly, and crouch in to a small shape to avoid the pain that your infinite intelligence anticipates.
Conversely, when we are acting in alignment with our higher selves, the body will also speak. It will tell you when you are getting close to realizing your dreams. It will also signal you when you are coming into contact with people who can help you reach those lofty goals, and it will even tell you if the decision you are about to make is right or wrong. Pay attention to those messages. They don’t lie. You can try to just sit and pay attention to the messages of the body in meditation, noticing sensations that arise, or try kinetic muscle testing.
8. Make Friends with Suffering
Akshay Nanavati, life coach, author, and creator of Fearvana says, “Whether it’s for financial, spiritual, physical, or mental success, my first tip to my clients is to build a positive relationship with suffering. I have had clients that have struggled with PTSD, anxiety, depression, stress, and fear and they’re usually surprised when the first thing I tell them is ‘Great!’ The point is not to get rid of any of these as they are not ‘bad’ emotions despite what we have been led to believe. Instead, embrace them, harness them, and leverage them to work for you.”
9. When You Are Stuck, Pushing Harder Won’t Help
Einstein’s quote about not solving problems with the same mind that created them comes to mind here. Lisa Barrington says that when we feel stuck in a problem we can’t figure out, it’s the perfect time to put it aside for a moment. Pick up a new hobby like knitting or water-coloring. Go for a walk outside. The mind works stuff out better when you aren’t forcing it into the same pathways that got you into the predicament in the first place.
10. Be Open to Changing Your Life Purpose
Life coach, Allan Santos tells a friend in a podcast that finding your life purpose can sometimes be surprising. If you’ve been something most of your life, and you’ve even been exceptionally good at it, trying something new when your soul calls you to it requires an open mind. You may be called to do something you never would have imagined yourself doing, but in the end, you’ll be perfect for it. He personally transitioned from being a classical musician to being a life coach.