“I THINK IT’S GOOD FOR A PERSON TO SPEND TIME ALONE. IT GIVES THEM AN OPPORTUNITY TO DISCOVER WHO THEY ARE AND TO FIGURE OUT WHY THEY ARE ALWAYS ALONE,” OBSERVED AMY SEDARIS.
People who choose to spend time by themselves risk being labeled as antisocial or strange. Our society rewards extroversion. We are often pressured to focus our time and energy on social relationships. The connections we make can be rewarding and worthwhile. However, they can also drain us of the opportunity to form a good relationship with ourselves. If your soul seeks solitude, don’t fight it. Give in to it.
Here are five things you will find:
1. YOU WILL DEVELOP YOUR SENSE OF SELF.
When we spend time alone, we have the unique chance to engage in self-reflection. We get to know ourselves away from the expectations of others. We are able to form a strong idea of who we are. This helps us to be more confident and purposeful when we do go out into the world. We are able to form stronger relationships, better work lives, and a more secure sense of inner peace. Just as spending time with a romantic partner would strengthen your relationship with them, spending time alone helps to build our relationship with ourselves. This is the most important and rewarding relationship that most of us will ever have.
2. YOU WILL BECOME HAPPIER – IF YOU ARE VERY INTELLIGENT.
Research has shown that the archetype of the brainy loner is more than just fiction. The more intelligent a person is, the less frequent social activity they need in order to be happy. Among the most intelligent people, frequent socialization can actually reduce happiness and life satisfaction. If you are an intellectual who is prone to periods of solitude, don’t fight against your inherent nature. Do what makes you happy. Don’t give into pressure to please others at the expense of your own comfort. Your emotional needs are unique. Treat them as such.
3. YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL DEEPEN.
When we spend a lot of time by ourselves, we develop clarity regarding our relationships. Stepping back allows us to better see the whole picture of our social connections. We are able to see how a friendship or romance fits into the context of our life as a whole. The strong sense of self we develop makes it possible to stand up for our needs when it is necessary to do so. Often, we decide to withdraw from relationships that we identify as unhealthy. This gives us more time and energy to invest in the ones we find meaningful. After spending time strengthening our self-knowledge, we can be more secure in our friendships with others. We are able to listen more effectively and get to know them on a deeper level.
4. YOU WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR SENSE OF PURPOSE.
People who spend time alone become great thinkers. They construct important ideas. They connect with the detail and minutiae that most people would miss. They can do this because they are deeply invested in the projects they take on. When we get to know ourselves, we get to develop our interests in a more substantial way. We more intimately examine our inherent talents and skills. This allows us to dive head-first into a passion project (or three). As Howard Thurman wrote, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
5. YOUR HAPPINESS WILL BE LESS DEPENDENT ON EXTERNAL EVENTS.
People who spend a lot of time alone are less easily rattled than their highly social counterparts. They are able to create a sense of internal peace and satisfaction. Most of us realize that true happiness comes from within, but it is easy to forget this in the face of external chaos. However, in spending time alone we become less reliant on the world for our sense of contentment. We become more well acquainted with our own capacity for creating positive energy. We become more in tune with our emotional needs, and more aware of what it takes to meet them. In doing so, we are more capable of maintaining our own happiness.
“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” Stacey Charter realized that happiness comes from the inside. Spend some time alone. Get to know yourself. Learn to meet your own needs. You’ll like the way your life begins to change.
source and courtesy: unisoultheory.com